Green Dog
by sass angel
Summary: Just a little "What if" for the Spuffy lover in us. In case you didn't catch that this is S/B. An interpretation on the choices Spike has made in his Buffy centered life.


Spoilers: Everything, the whole nine yards, the whole enchilada…okay I ran out of whole references but you catch my drift.

Rating: The R is for language. I swear, live and learn.

Disclaimer: Not this again.

Feedback: I don't get paid, my hubby thinks I'm nuts and my kids sometimes forget who I am. So please make it all worth while.

Random musings: The title is not a typo. The quotes throughout came from an email titled Green Dog, some things just stick with you. By the way, thanks for that email leisha. (she doesn't actually read this **stuff** ,as she puts it, but I love her anyway.) Also thanks to my beautiful beta Trisha, for not thinking I'm nuts and for catching my oh too numerous to mention spelling mistakes. (But I still think Spike **could** get paid for that.)

Summary: This is strictly Spike POV. An interpretation if you will, I always wondered why he made some of the choices he did. So I made up my own version of events with a Spuffy twist. 

****

****

**Green Dog**

**Becoming**

_No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make  
you cry._

_Don't waste your time on a man or woman who isn't willing to waste  
their time on you._

Spike paced the room slowly, his mind a constant churn of ideas and discarded plans. The chanting beyond his door was rising to new levels and the noise was beginning to give him a headache. 

  
"Spike?" Drusilla called from just behind the door. " Spike, sweetie, the fun's about to begin."

Spike's head came up like a shot at the sound of her voice. Making a beeline for the wheelchair, he dived on it seconds before she entered the room. Running a slightly guilty hand through his hair, he attempted a subdued smile.

  
"It is? Seems more to me like the fun's about to end."  
  


Drusilla waved a hand ineffectually in the air. "Don't be all gloomy."

  
Spike grabbed the wandering hand, trying, once again, to make her see reason. "Darling, if this works, everything changes. Think about it. In this world, we can be kings. In the next. . ."  
   
Drusilla's smile was one for a child, an often-neglected****child. "My Spikey's getting cold feet. Don't you worry about the next world. You'll always have me. . ."

   
Spike closed his eyes for a second. _If only that were true right now…_

"Will I?" Spike opened his eyes and stared intently into hers. As if this one moment, this one answer, could determine his entire fate. Only one thought registered in his mind as he waited. _Please, pet, Please…_

A loud scream disturbed the painful silence that descended with the question. The scream of a young man in his last seconds of life. 

_Lucky Bugger.___

  
Drusilla whirled away, clapping her hands in delight. "Oh! The blood ritual! To cleanse Angel. Let's go and see."  
  


Spike watched her for a second, his stomach churning, as his heart broke. There was nothing left in this world for him, may as well let Angel destroy it. Smiling slightly, Spike nodded, "Well, if there's blood. . ."

Wheeling silently behind Drusilla, Spike took in the outer room with something akin to awe and just the slightest bit of dread. Light filled the room, along with a crackling energy. Angel was standing in front of Acathla waiting for his prize like some kind of deranged demi-god.

_More like the devil incarnate._

As he watched, the energy suddenly seemed to be sucked out of the room like a vacuum and Angel was thrown unceremoniously to the floor, almost like he had just gotten an enormous electrical shock. The sword stood still in the statue and Angel stared at it, uncomprehending.

  
Spike couldn't hide the huge grin that split his face. "Someone wasn't worthy. . ."  **__**

Angel sprang to his feet, his body singing with barely****suppressed rage. "The ritual. There must be something I missed. The incantations, the blood. . .Dammit! I don't know. . ."  
  


Drusilla crossed the room towards him, swaying slightly on her feet. "This is so disappointing. What are we going to do?"

Angel turned and took her hand, a malevolent gleam lighting in his eyes. "What we always do in a time of trouble. Turn to an old friend. We'll have our Armageddon, I swear."  
   
Spike slowly turned the wheel chair and went back to his room, away from the sight of his dark princess fawning and cooing over another man. Parking the chair by the door, he walked the few steps to the bed and flung himself on it face first.

_Let em' do it then. Take it all away. Don't much matter anymore._

Spike flipped to his back and rubbed absently at his face, noting the tracks of his own pathetic tears.

"You know, by this point nothing should surprise me. But here I am, raising the bar again."**__**

Spike jumped a foot off the bed at the sound of a very familiar and much maligned voice. Turning his head slowly, he stared in shock at the small girl sitting nonchalantly in his wheelchair.

"Slayer!? What the fuck are you doing in here?" 

"Hey! Language! You kiss your mother with that mouth? That is**_, _**if you had a mother. Which obviously you don't, anymore, 'cause that would be a whole new level of creepy, even for you."

Spike eyed the brazen girl in his room suspiciously. "Have you gone daft? Pressure of the Hellmouth finally drive you 'round the bend?"  **__**

Buffy wheeled his chair closer to the bed and started to take inventory of him and the room with her eyes, mostly him. The close scrutiny was doing nothing to quell the rising panic in his gut, so he did the only thing he could conceive of at the moment. He stared back.

That was when a few things hit him between the eyes with the force of a runaway locomotive. This little slip of a girl may look, act and talk like the Slayer but she wasn't her. Not quite. This girl was older, more confident and a hell of a lot sexier.

_Bugger, mate. Best get that last thought out of your head right quick._

Whatever she was watching so intently must have gotten the better of her because she began to laugh. Not quiet little girl giggles either. No, these were full out side-hurting, tear-causing belly laughs. Spike found himself somewhat insulted.

 "What is so bleedin funny Slayer?"

_And why in the hell aren't I snapping her neck like a pencil? _

Waving a hand in front of her face and wiping at the tears. Buffy tried to get herself under control. "Sorry, Spike. It's just, you know, so funny."

Spike raised a disgruntled brow. "And again. What. Is. So. Bleedin. Funny?"

"This." She gestured to the room and him. "Here. You never told me why you did it." And off she went into a fresh wave of giggles.

Spike's ego had taken enough of a beating for one day. Whoever or whatever she was, had snipped away that last thread of patience he'd been clinging to. Swinging his legs over the bed, he grabbed hold of her arms and lifted her off the chair. He placed a booted foot on the chair and shoved it away, then proceeded to slam her against the wall. Holding her a good foot off the ground by her upper arms, he growled into the two inches separating their faces. "You have less than a second to explain what you are doing in my room before I make you Slayer****number three. Not to say that I won't kill you anyway, but I'd still like the story first."

Buffy stared intently into his eyes and he just couldn't fathom why she wasn't fighting back. A feather would have knocked him down when she raised a hand and smoothed it across his forehead, never letting her gaze waver from his. 

_What the hell is wrong with her?_

After more than a few tense moments, she seemed to come to some sort of conclusion and nodded almost imperceptibly. "I can help you get Dru back."

Her descent to the floor was far less majestic than her ascent had been. Staring down at the sprawled figure by his feet, Spike choked out her name with a world of pain behind it. "Slayer.."

Rising slowly, she brushed at the non-existent dust on her clothes and eyed him warily. "Trust me, I wasn't all gung-ho for the idea at first either. But this is the way it has to be. You want your princess," she said seeming to choke on the word," and I want to save the world. It can happen, but only if we work together." 

"You don't honestly think I'm going to help a Slayer do you? Did you forget that I despise you, or that I want almost nothing more in this world than to bring about your gruesome, horrible death. How about a word picture? Completely eviscerated, little Slayer pieces being found for weeks and weeks to come. Did any of this somehow escape your notice?"

Spike had begun to pace in front of her, torn between the overwhelming urge to rip out her throat and that slight spark of an idea that maybe she had a point. Stopping in front of her finally, he clenched his teeth and let his bones shift. Glaring at her from yellow eyes, he waited for her retaliation. But it never came. Instead a slight, almost whimsical smile graced her face. She said softly, "Stranger things have happened."

Spike slumped down on the bed. It was just no fun if she didn't at least **try **to fight back. Running a shaky hand over his face, he searched his pockets for his cigarettes. Finding a crumpled pack in his back pocket, he sat and smoked, one after the other, watching her all the time. For her part, she just stood calmly in front of him, hands on her hips, and stared back. After his fifth smoke, Spike sighed and flopped backwards on the bed, utterly defeated. "What do I have to do?"

"You need to go find the Slayer."

Spike raised his head, confusion blatant on his features. "Huh?"

"You need to find the Slayer and get her to agree to the plan."

"I need to…You **have** gone bloody daft!"

"I'm not your Slayer. At least not yet. Find her and convince her. It's the only way."

Spike sat up slowly. "If you're not her, then why are you doing this?"

 "This is the way it's supposed to be. I get that now." 

"Then why don't you just go and bloody help her. Leave me the hell out of it!"

But the girl who had been perfectly solid a second previous was starting to fade before his eyes. She smiled at him and he barley his urge to reach for her. For some reason he couldn't comprehend, he didn't want **this **Slayer to leave.  

"It will work Spike. If you make it work. Oh and Spike… Drusilla will stop hurting you…eventually."

Spike stared at the empty space that she had just occupied, talking to himself. "Slayer would never agree to it. No matter what some figment says. That's it. It's official. I'm losing my bleedin' mind. " Spike flopped back on the bed, a second later he was up and pulling on his coat. "But just in case I'm not…" **__**

**Pangs **

****

_Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them  
to._

_A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your  
heart._

Spike leaned weakly against the wall, watching Harmony warily. So far she wasn't all that receptive to having him back in her life.

"Get out," she screeched. **__**

  
Spike pushed himself off the wall, figuring it would be easier to convince her if he was at least half-ass standing on his feet.

 _Only one sure-fire way to deal with a pissed off bint.  _

"But, baby...," he crooned, "This is where I belong

****

Harmony crossed her arms in a show of defiance. "Out! I mean it. I've done a lot of reading, and, and I'm in control of my own power now. So we're through."

_Oh bloody hell! I'm dying and she's getting off on self-help books._  
   
Spike grabbed her with more force than intended and pulled her flush against his body. When she didn't offer an immediate objection, he began pulling roughly at her shirt. Baring her shoulder, he started kissing it, his voice a low growl designed to seduce. Designed to get him what he wanted. "You don't mean that."

  
 "Yes I do. I do." She moaned "I mean it a lot..."  
   
Spike grinned into the curve of her neck. 

_Sometimes they just make it too easy._

Sweeping her up, he carried her to the bed and dropped her onto it. Crawling up beside her, he let his gaze float over her body. "See? I knew you'd end up welcoming me with open..." caressing her leg, he leered suggestively at her. "...arms."

  
She pushed him away roughly, and pulled a stake from under the pillow. "No! I'm powerful and I'm beautiful and I don't need you to make me complete and you're mean!"  
 

Spike recoiled and fell off the bed, completely dumbfounded. That bit had always worked before. 

_Bloody self-help crap. I get this chip out, me and those authors are gonna chat.  ****_

Then his mind wrapped around the concept of the stake. "You had that in our bed?! Do you know how dangerous that is?"

  
"Let's find out."

Still on the floor, Spike towards the door, with Harmony less than a step behind. Spike eyed her and the stake warily from his less than dignified position. "You wouldn't do it."

  
  


"You did it to me, remember?" Grabbing him by the collar, she pulled up and shoved him towards the door. 

"All right! I'll go, just..."

"What."

  
"Can I have someone to eat?"

Spike landed face first in the dirt. Rolling onto his back, he stared up at the night sky and started to scream.

"Okay that was truly pathetic."

Spike closed his eyes. _Not her, please, for the love of Christ, don't let it be her. _Opening his****eyes slowly, Spike looked up at the face bending over him.

"Quite the way with the ladies you got going on there."

"Oh bugger… not you again."

Buffy waggled her fingers at him. "Seems like you hit rock bottom…again."

"Yeah well, a bloody warning would have been nice."

Buffy grinned impishly at him. "Nahh, then you would have just kept trying to kill me and we couldn't have that."

"Yes we could…I could have had that. I could have had that over and over again."

"Well, too bad." Buffy flopped down beside him on the ground, still grinning. "Guess why I'm here?"

Spike sat up quickly. "Oh no, you don't. Don't even start with me. I'm not going within ten feet of that bitch."

Buffy fixed him with a superior gaze. "You know it's the only way."

"Yeah, 'cause that way ended so well the last time," he mumbled. **__**

"Hey, you got what you wanted. Not my fault you didn't want what you got."

_Where did these children learn their bloody English?_

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Hey, come back here!," he****yelled as she started to fade from view.

But she was already disappearing into nothing. "Gotta go. It's a whole new world for you**_, _**Spike. Time to go see it."

"I'm not doing it!," he screamed, to the empty place she had been. "I'm Not!"

**Primeval**

_There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to  
do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next  
time around_

Pockets of commandos flooded the main room, holding back an onslaught of demons with taser fire. The first wave of demons went down easily, but the second wave just kept coming. Spike spun on his heel, beating on any and every demon that got in his way.

"Where in the hell did they put the bleedin exit?" he shouted to no one in particular. He ducked as a commando nailed a demon off to his right with a round of machine gun fire. Spike smirked slightly as the same commando was attacked from behind by a vampire sinking his fangs in the unlucky soldier's neck. 

_Maybe, I'll stick around a bit for leftovers._

As the commando went down, his machine gun fired wild and Spike barley dodged the bullets. 

_Maybe not…  ****_

Ducking into a doorway, Spike glanced from left to right trying desperately to determine the best way out the latest mess he'd gotten himself into. The Initiatives lab was in chaos, demons and humans fighting for their lives, and he'd somehow, through no fault of his own, managed to piss off the big nasty running the show. Spike slammed his head against the wall. That bitch of a Slayer was going to kill him for this, that was if Adam didn't get to him first. Either way, the future wasn't looking too bright. And all because he'd taken the initiative, all pun intended, and tried to improve his miserable lot in life. **__**

_Can't blame a bloke for trying, right? _ 

"You just never learn do you?"

Spike groaned and slammed his head on the wall one more time for good measure. Leaning his forehead on the wall, he spoke to the presence he'd  barley had time to detect behind him. "No. Guess not or you wouldn't keep showing up." Glancing over his shoulder, Spike shot her a contemptuous look. "Oh and one more thing while we're on the subject. Bugger off! It's not gonna happen this time."

"Yes it is. This time and many, many times yet to come."

Spike turned around glaring at her, fists clenched. "I don't have to listen to you."

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and gave his glare right back. "No you don't **have** to. But if you don't help them, she **will** kill you."

"And why should I believe you? You're nothing, just a figment of my slightly deranged imagination."

"Because Spike, I'm all you've got." Leaning in she gave him a soft kiss, just the slightest brush of lips really. "Now go on. Save them."

"I hate you," he****said to swiftly fading figure. 

"You won't," she quipped. 

Spike ducked his head around the corner, judging how many bodies he'd have to go through to reach the Scoobies. Darting out of his shelter, Spike jumped on the back of the first demon he came to. "Bloody hell, she kissed me!"

  
  


**Fool For Love**

_ Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the  
right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to  
be grateful._

Spike stared into her face, hope and a world of fear reflecting in his eyes. Clutching at her arms, he spoke of what he felt, of what he'd been dreaming for far too long.  "Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you want to dance."  
  


Buffy locked eyed with him. Intensity and desire shimmering in the air between them. Spike swallowed convulsively, waiting for her response.

"Say it's true," she said slowly, never wavering her gaze. "Say I do want to..." One second he was drowning in her eyes the next he was on the ground, sprawled at her feet. Staring up at her, Spike waited for the proverbial axe to fall. She didn't disappoint. "It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be **you**."  
  


Spike watched as a wad of money floated harmlessly through the air, scattering across him and the ground. Lifting his gaze, he stared into a face filled with pure contempt and watched her calmly nail another stake into his heart. "You're beneath me."

Spike alternated his gaze between the sight of her walking away and the money spread around him for an excruciatingly long beat. Rising slowly, he began to collect the cash, at a loss on how to cover the deep humiliation burning in his heart. Questions seared through his mind.

_How did I get here? How did it come to this? How do I stop it? ___

On the last, his eyes rose again to Buffy's retreating form, his expression transforming from despair and humiliation to one of pure murderous intent. 

"Spike, don't."

The sound of her voice so close caused his body to jerk violently. "Get away from me."

Grabbing his arm, she tried to peer into his face. "You don't want to do this. Not really."

Spike laughed but the sound was void of any real humor. "You don't know what I want."

"Spike! She didn't mean it. She didn't know."

 Spike removed the hand holding onto his arm, like he was brushing off a speck of inconsequential dirt. "Yes. Yes, she did. I'm nothing to her, always will be. Why should I let her do this to me? Why should I let you?"

The reply was quiet but painfully clear. "Because you love her."

Spike smirked and then abruptly turned away. "Not enough, Slayer. Not nearly enough," he said quietly, walking quickly down the alley a new purpose in his step. 

"Spike!" she yelled, but it was his turn to leave the party early. Scuffing a dejected foot through the dirt in the alley, Buffy's image began to fade. "Damn!"

**Crush **

****

_The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them  
knowing you can't have them._

**__**

Buffy moved swiftly up the walk, Spike only a few steps behind. "Buffy...," he pleaded, "Come on now - stop. You can't walk away from this."

  
She paused on the walk not turning around. "What part of punching you in the face did you not understand?"  
  


Spike shrugged. "So we had a fight. Not our first, love. It doesn't have to change anything-"  
  


At this, Buffy finally turned to face him, her voice deadly calm. "This changes everything. You're out, Spike. I want you out of this town. I want you off this planet. You don't ever come near me, my friends and family again. Ever - understand?"  
 

Spinning on her heel, she continued up the walk. As far as she was concerned this business was over. To Spike it had just begun. "No. It's not that easy. We have something, Buffy. It's not pretty, but it's real."  
  


Buffy slammed through the door and into her house, Spike still determinedly dogging her every step. "And there's nothing either one of us can do about it. Like it or not, I'm in your life. You can't just shut me out."  
  


Moving quickly to follow her inside, Spike found himself launched a few steps back as he slammed up against the invisible barrier at the threshold. Staring at her in shock and pain, he watched as she calmly closed the door in his face. He stood there for a moment, just watching the door as if would suddenly open and all this would be just a bad dream. Then he heard the voice he'd come to dread almost as much as he wished for it. 

"Yeah, that was real smooth. Can I just mention that I'm still a little pissed over that whole thing."

Spike turned and stared at her. No matter how many times this happened, he was just never going to get used to it… or like it. Shoving past her, he stomped down the walk. "Oh shut up!"

"Hey, it was your lame brain idea," she said, catching him on the street easily. " Chains, Spike?  Face it, you screwed up."

"Why are you here?" he shouted, rounding on her. "Really, I want to know.  Every time I turn around, there you are. I don't even know who the bloody hell you are but you just keep showing up rubbing my nose in what a complete ponce I am."

Buffy stared at him for a moment contemplating…something, and then shocked him to the core by holding out a hand. "Walk with me."

Spike stared at the proffered hand, turning the invitation over in his mind. He took it, albeit it grudgingly. What else did he have right now? "Like I've a choice. You're just gonna keep pulling my strings no matter what I do."

Spike turned away to walk down the road but her voice stopped him. "You have choices Spike. You may not like them, but you do have them."

Glancing over his shoulder, he arched a brow in question. "What do you know about it?"

Her slight laugh sent a shiver down his spine. There was nothing happy in the sound. "Things are about to happen. Big things. Hard things. You're going to make some really bad choices but then some really good ones. All you have to do is be there…for her."

Spike cast her a sideways glance as they moved up the street. "You knew, all along you knew, that I would love her." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah I knew."

"And again, a little warning would have been nice."

She just giggled, a real one this time and he found he liked it much better. "Come on." He grinned. "I'll buy you an ice cream." 

She arched an eyebrow. "You have money?" 

"No, but we can pretend." They both smiled at absurdity of their situation. A vampire and some warped figment of his imagination, and yet his grin still widened further when she twisted their hands and linked her fingers with his. They walked companionably down the street for a bit, both lost in their own thoughts, until he finally broke the silence. "Buffy?"

"Yeah?" she said, swinging his hand like a school girl. 

"I missed you. This you, I mean."

"I missed you too, Spike. I miss you too."

**The Gift**

_To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the  
world._

  
 BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS

1981-2001

BELOVED SISTER, DEVOTED FRIEND

SHE SAVED THE WORLD  
  
A LOT  
   
   
  


Spike stared hard at the words etched in stone for posterity. Tucking his duster around him, he pulled out a smoke and lay down on top of the grave. He stared up into the night sky for a while, contemplating what he was doing and then gave up. Rolling over onto his stomach, he folded his arms and propped his chin on them. 

_No use thinking too hard about it. Just let it happen. ****_

At the touch of small hand rubbing his back, he lifted his head slightly. There she was, the other her. 

_Should have seen this coming._

She still wasn't quite the Buffy he knew**_, _**but closer than the one he had first seen. Closer to the one he had just disappointed, for the last time. She began to fade and he was about to beg her not to go too soon, when he realized it was the tears pouring down his face that clouded his vision. Without another thought**_, _**he launched himself at her and curled up in a ball with his head on her lap. He had no idea how long he lay there, shaking and crying, but finally he had nothing left and he sat up. Cupping her face in his hands, he took the last, the only, opportunity he had to tell her what his mind and heart screamed.

"I'm so sorry."

"Shh, you tried," she****said, bringing her hands up to cover his. "I know that you tried."

"But I didn't save you. I didn't…" He couldn't continue and collapsed his head on her shoulder. 

She wrapped her arms around him and started to rock. "It's okay. It will all be okay."

Spike never wanted to move. He knew the sun would be up soon. That was the bloody point after all. What better way to go than lying in her arms.

"Spike?"

At first he didn't answer, preferring the safety of his own delusions. 'Cause that's what she was, had to be. Nothing else made sense. But he gave in eventually, he always did when it came to her. "Hmm?"

"Do you remember your promise?"

Spike stiffened and shook his head vehemently against her neck. "No. Buffy, please, just let me go now. I can't anymore, not with you gone."

Buffy lifted his chin and stared somberly into his eyes. "I need you to. You're the only one who can."

Spike felt the tears gathering behind his eyes and despised the pleading tone in his voice. "I can't this time, love. I just can't."

Buffy tucked his head back against her neck and continued to rock him, while Spike just sat there and cried. He had no recollection of falling asleep, but figured he must have done so, because when he woke up,****he was on his bed in his crypt and safe from the suns rays. Rolling onto his back, he stared at the ceiling and let the last few tears fall. That done, he reached for his smokes and sat up. He had to keep his promise to a lady. 

**As you were**

_ Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened._

**__**

  
"I'm sorry, William."

Spike watched, disbelieving, as she just turned and walked out. He stood quietly in the broken remains of his crypt, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened. The truth hit him like a sledgehammer he vehemently wanted to deny. He was alone…again. 

"I'm sorry."

Spike dropped his head and toed a charred…something. "Yeah I caught that part."

"No I mean… I'm sorry for the pain you are in. The pain that I…she caused."

Spike raised his head and watched her with a completely broken look on his face. He just didn't have the strength to play their little game right now. He needed time to lick his wounds. "Right then, why don't you go haunt her." 

Buffy stared out towards the place she had just vacated. "She doesn't need me. But you do."

Spike gave a deprecating laugh. "All I've got, huh?"

Buffy looked back at him, a small, almost pitying, smile on her lips. "I wish I could tell you it will get better, but-"

Spike waved a hand in the air, cutting her off. "Just once. Why don't you tell me what is going to happen next. Just this once."

Buffy looked down at her feet and then back up with true regret in her eyes. "I can't. But I promise you it's almost done."

Spike walked closer to her, desperation pouring off him in waves. "Does she love me?"

He was almost positive he saw a sheen of tears forming in her eyes. But the idea was erased with her next words. "Not the way you want."

Spike nodded slightly and turned away, not being able to bear the sight of her. "Don't come back again."

When he turned back, she was gone.  **__**

**Seeing Red**

****

_Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,  
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.  
  
_

Spike paused, watching the lights of Sunnydale in the distance. Taking a last drag off his cigarette, he flicked it to the asphalt. "Get nice and comfy Slayer. I'll be back. And when I do... it's all gonna change."  
   
Moving his foot up to pop the clutch, Spike groaned internally at the sight before him. Buffy stood calmly in the middle of the road, watching him. Releasing the clutch, he stared her up and down before settling on her face. 

"You can't stop me this time," he****growled menacingly.

Buffy just shrugged. "I'm not trying to. It's time for you to go. To do what you need to do."

Spike arched an eyebrow. "Even if that means one of us ends up dead."

"You'll make the right decision…when the time comes."

Spike laughed in spite of himself. "Pretty sure of yourself, pet."

"No… Not really. I'm more sure of you." **__**

He popped the clutch and roared past her, yelling over the deafening sound of the engine. "Don't hold your breath." 

  
   
  
   
 **Grave**  


_Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you._

**__**

 Spike's eyes fluttered open and he looked up weakly at the figures hovering over him. 

"You have endured the required trials." 

  
"Bloody right I have." Pushing himself up, he addressed the demon of the cave. "So, give me what I want. Make me what I was... so Buffy can get what she deserves."

  
"Very well. We will return…" A clawed hand reached and Spike fought the urge to flinch as it touched his bare chest. "…your soul."  The sheer,****unadulterated pain overrode every thought and Spike threw his head back, screaming in agony. 

Hours? Minutes? How long had he laid there? Time made no sense in his head. All he could feel was a blinding throb whipping through his skull, his chest, his body. But it was better than before, more manageable. Prying open an eye, he stared up at the ceiling and then, almost as expected, a soft cool hand touched his face. He moved just his eyes and found her staring at him.

"Do you always have to be right?" he croaked.

She gave him a smirk that would have rivaled one of his own. "Get up, Spike. You're almost done and I'm waiting for you."

**Green Dog**

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_ I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when  
I am with you._**__**

Spike stared up at the Summer's home and squared his shoulders. Flicking his smoke off into the bushes, he shoved open the door and headed straight up the stairs to Buffy's room. Dawn met him at the top. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment. "Bit."

"Spike. She's in her room. Something's been happening. We don't know what."

Spike nodded and pushed past her. "I do."

Stopping on the threshold to her room, he surveyed the scene laid out in front of him. She was lying perfectly still on the bed, one hand folded on her stomach. For all intents and purposes she appeared to be asleep. Spike let his gaze wander her form. She was wearing the exact clothes he had come to recognize from each of his visions and a smile played at her lips. Spike shifted his gaze to Giles, who sat on the bed beside her holding her other hand. They watched each other for a long moment before Giles spoke.

"It was supposed to be a relaxation technique. With everything that has occurred, she thought it would help. Something went wrong."

Spike looked back at Buffy. "No, Rupert, something went right."

Giles rose and moved to the door, where Spike still stood. After a long measuring glance, Giles met Spike's impenetrable stare. "She talks…in her sleep." Giles said quietly and was rewarded by the slight widening of Spike's eyes. "Right then," he continued," I'll be downstairs." 

Spike stood at the door until he heard the Watcher's footsteps fade into the kitchen.  Crossing the room, he sat gently on the bed  and took her hand. "Time to come back to me, luv." Buffy's eyes slowly opened and she smiled at him. Spike felt like his heart was going to explode within the confines of his chest. He knew now that he could never pass another day without her smile in it. Smoothing her hair from her forehead, Spike stared into her eyes.  "I love you, Buffy."

She reached up and took his hand bringing it to her lips in a silent acquiesce. Tears formed in his eyes and unable to bear the power of her gaze, he lay his head on her chest. A wide smile graced his face at the feel of her fingers playing with his hair and her softly spoken words. "Welcome home, Spike."

**The end**

Okay now that it's out of my system, back to Divinity. What's Divinity you ask? Well you'll have to read it to find out. **cough cough** shameless plug. 

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